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  1. I All As a returning member to the club I thought I'd check to see if there are any previous mentions about my Vitesse - Came across this thread. I am happy to say the car has survived, I picked it up from a seller in Potters Bar in September 2020, not sure what happened between 2017. I bought it as a complete project car so over the last 12 months took the body of for lots of chassis & body welding and a complete mechanical going over. I was hoping to bring to a meet but that looks realistically something for 2022. Its not finished yet but picture attached anyway Cheers, Tim
    11 points
  2. poppyman

    Joke

    10 points
  3. poppyman

    Joke

    9 points
  4. Qu1ckn1ck

    Joke

    8 points
  5. dougbgt6

    Joke

    db
    7 points
  6. poppyman

    Joke

    A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem. The magician had a parrot in the act and the parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once the parrot understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it’s not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!” or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?” The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. In fact, the act became a comedy act and the magician was in demand on every cruise ship. Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost all who were on board. The magician, luckily, found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea and , as fate would have it ... with the parrot. They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day... and then 2 days. and then 3 days. Finally, on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said... "OK, I give up. Where's the f*ckin' ship? "
    7 points
  7. A recent post raised the idea of swapping the positions of the indicator and lighting stalks, so that they match the locations on a modern car you might also drive. My wife's Saab has the indicator stalk on the left and I wanted my Triumph to have the same arrangement. On the early cars this is simply a matter of swapping round the stalks and the cowls and possibly the metal nib that does the self cancelling of the indicators. As somebody on the other post pointed out, this does mean that the decals are now upside down too. If you are thinking of doing this, or have done it already, you might find the attached file useful? I have redrawn the decals so that they are right for the new arrangement. You will need to print them out onto 'waterslide transfer paper', the white variety not the transparent type. If you have access to a laser printer then it is all very easy, but if you only have an inkjet then you will need to varnish the decals before you apply them. Application is just like how you used to apply the decals to your Airfix models (or still do). I hope that this is useful to somebody. Reg
    6 points
  8. Bfg

    Joke

    5 points
  9. Iain T

    Joke

    Sorry for language...
    5 points
  10. Chris A

    The Politics Table

    I used to be hopeless at identifying birds but since I found this guide it is a lot easier.
    5 points
  11. I bet the car drivers were mortified......... Tony.
    5 points
  12. Qu1ckn1ck

    Joke

    5 points
  13. poppyman

    Joke

    5 points
  14. 5 points
  15. Bearing has been shimmed forwards by 3mm. Pivot pin shimmed forwards by 2 washers. Clutch spring plate checked for levels. flywheel removed and missing spigot bearing replaced. Its all back together tonight - just - albeit it with the tunnel and carpets left to put back in. I now have very little play on the arm - and a fantastic operational clutch. The PO had clearly spent a lot on this with a garage - new clutch, master, slave, hydraulic pipe, rebuilt gearbox and was still left with a knackered car - the fault frankly was obvious but I was looking for an exact answer. Clearly there’s something obscure with something in there - and shimming it has just overcome whatever it is. It’s done 750 miles in 4 years he owned it and it was never right. One mans loss is another mans gain 👍.
    4 points
  16. 4 points
  17. Bfg

    Joke

    4 points
  18. Bfg

    Joke

    I second that. Pete.
    4 points
  19. jagnut66

    Replacement wooden dash

    Hi, My new dash, purchased at our joint show with MG at the Malvern showground, has now arrived. My old dash is looking a little tired and the veneer is lifting all across it, so I chose a replacement burr elm one from Classical Dash, who had a stand there. https://classical-dash.co.uk/ I've always loved a good burr and the figuring on my new one is great, all that I have to do now is, very carefully, fit it. Best wishes, Mike.
    4 points
  20. Colin Lindsay

    The Politics Table

    Have two or three of those about the garden and they make a real mess - they dig in the flowerbeds or flowerpots and throw the debris everywhere. Tried this stuff but couldn't get it to eat it...
    4 points
  21. 4 points
  22. andybeau

    Joke

    4 points
  23. PeteH

    Joke

    4 points
  24. Colin Lindsay

    Joke

    With the craze for touristy-things in Belfast and the building of the Titanic Quarter they released a Titanic Gin. I wish I worked in advertising, I'd have suggested the slogan: "Goes down easily with a little ice..."
    4 points
  25. Well a while back i said in a post i pretty much get my cars through chance and strange meetings! With the help of some friends collection today! About a month after first making the deal! Many thanks to my wife and colin and his mate dave, as i could not have done it without them. Got out of breath just stearing the car! Its a tight fit but its all tucked away. The yellow spitfire is going to be finished first, before even touching this. The opportunity was too good to leave and this now means i have four triumphs! Will have to look into declaring sorn as the log book is a 2010 one with it already being Historic. Built oct 1972 from the heritage certificate, registered march 73. The funny thing is i might have been a passenger in this car many years ago! It came with many panels to repair it, but a few still to get. I intend to keep it as original as possible, including the colour 72. Thanks go to andy for letting me have the car and waiting for everything to fall into place. Colin and david for collecting the car and dropping it off at mine, getting it in the garage for me. Justine for doing the running around and getting the bits in the garage as i watched! Watch this space, but unlikely to do anything until spring next year.
    3 points
  26. Just a slightly different view of my Vitesse when out this morning. Regards Paul.
    3 points
  27. 3 points
  28. Many thanks Mathew/all for the quick and very useful responses. For the avoidance of doubt, I love the car, have done so much to it and am deeply attached! Of course a judgement can only be made looking at the car, probably with paint removed from problem areas, but the discussion really helps the thought process. Although used several times every week and without obsessively avoiding rain, I avoid salty winter roads (Except soon after I got it - my daughter having bought herself a Cinquicento on her 17 birthday and got me to teach her to drive, realised that as a named driver on my classic policy she could get insured on a 2 litre sports car for £200 a year and borrowed it for a year. She learnt a lot though, manual choke, overdrive, rear wheel drive in the snow etc). It’s always been garaged, the garage has a lifting beam and full size inspection pit so I’m forever underneath spotting any problems early. Most of the time it’s been waxoyled, but in recent years I switched to regularly using dinitrol. If I’d known what I know now and used the latter from day one it would probably have faired much better. I love working on the car, but suspect that your right Mathew, new welding skills would be for this one job and take time to perfect. Current thoughts are, patch it well for now, start attending club meetings and learning more from others, then find a good body man and get the sills and bottom of rear arches done. Get proper spraying kit and make that the new skill, that way I can spray the repairs myself then rub down and respray whole car. I’m already not bad with rattle cans. Later take the bonnet off and get that repaired if bodging not sufficient. Thing about the overall respray is that a previous respray by others was not perfect and pulled away at many of the seams. Everyone said the only answer was to strip down to metal, but I’m not so sure as most of these areas I’ve dealt with and seem ok, all just a bit amateurish. Derwent valley probably my nearest club and seems fairly active now. Onwards Dave
    3 points
  29. KevinR

    Joke

    The other moderators and I are getting fed up with tit for tat complaints about posts and posts that are rude, sexist and just downright crude. We’ve tried to tidy things up but some of you just won’t take the hint. If things carry on the way things are going, rather than dishing out black marks, we will start requiring posts by certain people to be screened by a moderator before they go public, or even more drastic measures. Take this as a warning, calm things down, keep things polite and worthy of a forum that is the public face of the TSSC. If you want to descend things to a childish gutter, please post it elsewhere.
    3 points
  30. Do you mind! I would have objected to this earlier but I've only just got back from lunch
    3 points
  31. JohnD

    UK gone mad

    Ian, I'm glad to accept the reminiscence of a friend as such. But gosh, did you, or they, do nothing in your youth which in years and experience you would never do! I will confess to having been arrested in Trafalgar Square, for squirting a Police Officer with a water pistol. I was seized by two very burly Mets, frog marched off the Square, searched, my "weapon" destroyed ("Stamp on it, sonny boy!") and unarrested, with the strong suggestion that I get on home, now! It was foolish then, even foolhardy - I might get shot today! - and I wouldn't even think of doing so now. But I learnt from it, and hope that none of my peers or seniors eventually thought worse of me for it. To condemn a man for the foolishness of youth is to forget one's own youth, and how we learnt! John
    3 points
  32. My mother became terminally ill just before my 21st birthday. During that year, I had a very kind boss in the service dept. I finished my apprenticeship during her illness and managed to pass my final exams. He allowed me to take extended lunch breaks every day to visit her in a hospice. His surname was 'Wagger' and his initials match th car. Therefore, the car is 'Wagger' because of this and the probability of 'Tail wag'. He also shared my enthusiasm for motorcycles having been a Trials rider and speedway rider. Those guys really do wag their tail end.
    3 points
  33. Peter Truman

    Too tight Top

    Doug how about being a little Nationalistic, with a local tight top, hope its not too smutty! There's a reason why I have this pic (kept in Triumph TR Sabrina file), here in Aus early 62 I think, as a 15/16 year old I had lunch sitting opposite her at a very popular regional restaurant here, family was entertaining some UK business visitors when the owner asked if she plus mgr could join our table as restaurant was full! Mum always said I was off my food that day!
    3 points
  34. The problem is that once we gave everyone the chance / right to go to Uni, a degree became devalued. You can get degrees in brewing, wine making and circus skills. A few years back kids left school and went straight into that kind of job, learning as they went. Over here, Police Recruits take a degree in Policing, but they finish it so quickly - six months - that you wonder what kind of degree it actually is. In my young day that was a course. There was a woman a few years back did a degree in / on Coronation Street. Wonder what sort of job that qualified her for? BTW the local furlough scheme ends today (same as the rest of the UK?) Employers are now whingeing they'll have to pay workers off as they can't afford to keep them when the scheme ends. We had a Travel Agent on local TV - aren't holiday bookings going through the roof at present? - but he thinks that having 80% of his employees' wages paid for the last 18 months wasn't enough. I wonder how his business would have coped with no handout at all?
    3 points
  35. Ian, Welcome! Here's a picture of Ray Peet's Burlington. He recently left us, but his masterpiece remains. Doug
    3 points
  36. And to lighten the mood; damn, I only have one but is a broad one (ring that is)! Dick
    3 points
  37. PeteH

    Joke

    3 points
  38. Colin Lindsay

    UK gone mad

    Tesco have a 'bag for life' so all you have to do is take the pile of dissolved goo to the counter and they'll replace it, so you can try again.
    3 points
  39. I know, I was going to the dump with 50,000,000 rolls of unused toilet paper this morning and the panic-buying queues at the petrol station were unbelievable.
    3 points
  40. PeteH

    Joke

    Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking. Arlene: What in the hell is that? Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet. Arlene: Where did you get it? Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy. The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what size, texture, brand of condom she prefers. 'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.' The pharmacist fainted!
    3 points
  41. Hi, I will be fitting a fuse box and a few other things like hazards when I get started on my restoration. I find the black and white diagram a bit hard to follow so I colourised it. I am putting it here in case it is of any use to anyone else. I wasn't sure how to tackle the white so just made it an off white colour unless it was a trace.
    3 points
  42. PeteH

    Joke

    3 points
  43. younguns!! One apprentice mechanic thought my bonnet catches were indicators
    2 points
  44. poppyman

    Joke

    2 points
  45. Warning: The following is a massive amount of cheek. Followed by a side order of cheek with cheek for afters. I put it down to a long lunch break I just had with mousse au chocolat and a double espresso.... <H1>Cheek</H1> <p jest> <mild snark>I guess this is the same attitude like I see here in Germany when a new cash register/till opens up and I have seen grannies who were last in the current line/queue literally run over small children with their shopping cart/trolley to be the first ones... I guess as you get older you worry about losing time... doesn't explain why the car won't go over 35 mph... </mild snark> </p jest> Seriously though I am very much in the "getting there is half the fun" camp and always have been. When we drove to Paris we took a route away from the Autoroute to find nice little family-run restaurants and buy local produce. For 3 years I was self-employed and for various reasons I had days where I would travel over 200 miles in a 24 period having at least 7 appointments and using nearly every form of transport except flight... maybe that was enough for me rushing about... <H2>Cheek</H2Cheek> Our next car is a Skoda Enyqa and I just read that through a software update it will increase the charging speed to 175 KW. Given the Tesla supercharger network is to be opened up and ABB has started installing 400 KW charging systems that would mean a 30-40 minute break to fill up the car completely. So a 10 minute chow break with 5 minutes for bio-break, add in the fact that charging points are always at the far end of any parking lot/car park that means you would have about 5-10 minutes to: <H3>Cheek</H3> 1. Corchet 2. Write a text to loved ones 3. Admire your surroundings 4. Call an unawares person and try to social engineer them into divulging their bank account info 5. Rage about how scheit this technology is 6. Make a TikTok video 7. Go back to the shop and annoy people by acting like you can't find your wallet or 8. Learn Esparonto All of this is in an ideal world of course... Kumbaya... 😄 PS: My father-in-law has a valid HGV license in case someone is looking... *ducks* <H4>Cheek out..</H4>. DVD3500 sets himself on 23 hour ban of writing about EVs...
    2 points
  46. Paul H

    Fuel Syphoning

    https://www.toolstation.com/search?q=Jiggle syphon it’s called a jiggle syphon and the ferule is copper Paul
    2 points
  47. Well - it is fixed ! Thanks for all the help & suggestions. Those of you who said it was the fuse box, please take a bow. Despite me bypassing the top fuse (in the 3-way fuse box) with 2 x crocodile clips & a piece of wire last night, all to no avail, that is what it was. Not just the fact that the fuse had blown, but as Pete Lewis suggested, a clean up with some emery paper & a squeeze together of the blades did the trick. And a new fuse, obviously. Fuses 2 & 3 are dead. My biggest mistake was thinking the fuse 1 was dead too, but I know now. Next little project will be a major tidy up of the wiring & a new diagram. Thanks again to all who helped. Peter
    2 points
  48. I had a senior moment yesterday. I took the car out for a successful high speed run to check out mixture and when I returned had a quick peak in the engine bay to make sure all was well and I had forgotten to fit the vacuum hose onto the front carb. I suppose another blast up the road is now in order! Any excuse......
    2 points
  49. If it saves money, why not? And condoms will always save you money, in the long run. Doug
    2 points
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