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  1. I All As a returning member to the club I thought I'd check to see if there are any previous mentions about my Vitesse - Came across this thread. I am happy to say the car has survived, I picked it up from a seller in Potters Bar in September 2020, not sure what happened between 2017. I bought it as a complete project car so over the last 12 months took the body of for lots of chassis & body welding and a complete mechanical going over. I was hoping to bring to a meet but that looks realistically something for 2022. Its not finished yet but picture attached anyway Cheers, Tim
    11 points
  2. Iain T

    Joke

    12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio: 1 Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.' 2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.' 3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!' 4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.' 5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my god !! What have I just said??' 6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.' 7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard! 8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.' 9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on 'Look North' said: ‘There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. ' 10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on 'Sky Sports': ‘Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.' 11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there. They're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.' 12.. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny; other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.
    11 points
  3. Paul H

    Joke

    URGENT NEW HOME WANTED !!!!! This is bella, she’s an 8 week-old German Sheppard puppy, I bought her as a surprise for my wife for Christmas but it turns out she is allergic to dogs so I am now urgently looking to find her a new home I don't want any money just free to a good home. Her name is Angie shes 45 years old, a beautiful and caring woman who drives, she is a great cook, good with kids and always keeps a clean house. Paul
    11 points
  4. poppyman

    Joke

    10 points
  5. poppyman

    Joke

    10 points
  6. poppyman

    Joke

    A vicar, a priest and a rabbit walk into a blood bank. The rabbit says “I think I might be a type O ... “
    10 points
  7. Mjit

    Joke

    Trump dies from the virus. He goes to Hell where the Devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do", says the Devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do.". "I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves.". Triump thought that sounded pretty good so he agreed. The Devil opened the first room. Init was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacinf empty handed over, and over, and over, such was his fate in Hell. "No", said Trump, "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long.". The Devil lead him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time, after time. "No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented Trump. The Devil opened the third door. In it Trump saw Bill Clinton laying naked on the floor with his arms stacked over his head and his legs stacked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monika Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Trump looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yea, I can handle this.". The Devil smiled and said... ..."Monica, you're free to go!".
    10 points
  8. poppyman

    Joke

    9 points
  9. At least Sputnik 5 will be easy to administer, a quick spray from a perfume bottle onto your door knob and your sorted for life.
    9 points
  10. Bfg

    Joke

    9 points
  11. poppyman

    Joke

    An elderly, white-haired man walked into a jewellery store one Friday evening with a beautiful young blonde at his side. He told the jeweller he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweller looked through his stock and brought out a £5,000 ring. The old man said, "No, I'd like to see something more special." At that statement, the jeweller went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only £40,000," he said. The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it." The jeweller asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, "By cheque. I know you need to make sure my cheque clears so I'll write it now, and you can call the bank on Monday morning to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up on Monday afternoon," he said.. On Monday morning, the jeweller 'phoned the old man and said "Sir, there's no money in that account." "I know," said the old man, "but let me tell you about my weekend!" All Seniors Aren't Senile
    9 points
  12. Qu1ckn1ck

    Joke

    8 points
  13. Unkel Kunkel

    Joke

    8 points
  14. Colin Lindsay

    Joke

    8 points
  15. Anglefire

    Joke

    8 points
  16. poppyman

    Joke

    8 points
  17. poppyman

    Joke

    8 points
  18. Mjit

    Joke

    An old lady goes to the doctor and says "Doctor, I have this problem with passing gas but it doesn't bother me too much. It's always silent and doesn't smell. In fact I've passed gas 20 times since I've been in your office but you don't know as it's silent and doesn't smell.". The doctor says "I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week.". The following week the old lady returns and says "I don't know what those pills you gave me were but while my gas is still silent it now smells terribly!". "Good", said the doctor. "Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's see if we can't work on your hearing.".
    8 points
  19. poppyman

    Joke

    8 points
  20. BREAKING NEWS..........
    8 points
  21. Iain T

    Joke

    8 points
  22. clive

    Classic Life/Richard

    I spoke to Richard earlier (mainly about other stuff, he is local and a good friend) However, he asked that I should post that he is fine, but won't be returning to this forum (or probably any other that a certain person frequents) He will remain a TSSC member, and carry on, when allowed, with local meetings etc. He has always been great at organising small meet-ups for breakfast or whatever, not to mention the many large meetings for a local multi-marque club. He still loves his Vitesse (an indeed the other 2 classics in his stable) so he may be spotted by some of you. I am hoping to drag him to Malvern, and probably the spares day. He also asked that I pass on his thanks to those who have been supportive, you know who you are.
    8 points
  23. Iain T

    Joke

    Nighttime laughter *NO ONE BELIEVES SENIORS … EVERYONE THINKS THEY ARE SENILE*. An elderly couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered. They found the old desk they'd shared, where Jerry had carved "I love you, Sally". On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armoured car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money - fifty thousand dollars! Jerry said,: "We've got to give it back." Sally said: "Finders keepers." She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic. The next day, two police officers, who were canvassing the neighbourhood looking for the money, knocked on their door. "Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armoured car yesterday?" Sally said: "No." Jerry said: "She’s lying. She hid it up in the attic." Sally said: "Don't believe him, he’s getting senile." The agents turned to Jerry and began to question him. One said: "Tell us the story from the beginning." Jerry said: "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday .." The first police officer turned to his partner and said: "Let’s get out of here." *TOO GOOD NOT TO SHARE* 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀
    8 points
  24. wimpus

    Spitfire, snow and frost...

    As I used my Spitfire as daily and it started to snow and freeze very good this week... She did it well. Only very hard to start after standing a day in -5°c ! Mornings after standing in a non heated garage, she does it pretty good. Today took some pics in the snow (got a bit stuck.. ) as it was 'International Drive Your Triumph Day' . After that noticed the carwash was open... time to clean off the salt. Incl cleaning floor edge, rear of chassis/suspension, boot floor etc etc. (People did look a bit strange sitting on my knees washing the Spitfire :D)
    8 points
  25. poppyman

    Joke

    Everyone ready for tonight? I am......
    8 points
  26. dougbgt6

    Joke

    db
    7 points
  27. poppyman

    Joke

    A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem. The magician had a parrot in the act and the parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once the parrot understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it’s not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!” or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?” The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. In fact, the act became a comedy act and the magician was in demand on every cruise ship. Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost all who were on board. The magician, luckily, found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea and , as fate would have it ... with the parrot. They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day... and then 2 days. and then 3 days. Finally, on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said... "OK, I give up. Where's the f*ckin' ship? "
    7 points
  28. Qu1ckn1ck

    Blonde Moments

    Had my regular eye test yesterday, properly protected with a Covid mask, as was the optician. Optician getting more and more concerned as no matter how strong a lens she was trying I reported that the test circles were getting fuzzier and fuzzier rather than clearer. Penny finally dropped ! My breath escaping from the top of my mask had steamed up all her lenses. She was not best pleased at having to dry her lenses and do all the tests again after telling me to drop my mask down to uncover my nose.
    7 points
  29. poppyman

    Joke

    7 points
  30. KevinR

    Flat EV

    Admin is watching !!!
    7 points
  31. poppyman

    Joke

    7 points
  32. SpitFire6

    Joke

    Dominic, have some dignity mate We've all been dumped.
    7 points
  33. Qu1ckn1ck

    Joke

    I was so upset yesterday when my wife told me our six year old son isn’t actually mine. She said I should pay more attention when I pick up the kids from school
    7 points
  34. Cheers Gents for your support and advice. This thread wasn’t intended to be a ‘woe is me’ but more of a generic question of how to deal with mindset of value and the fear of damage to an expensive or otherwise cherished car. When (perhaps 8 years ago now) I had a ’66 Jaguar saloon, I met the owner of a very similar car at one of the local classic car events. Restored to concourse and beautifully finished with a new interior, fresh chrome and in light blue metallic paint - he had just spent £42,000 on his car. In conversation he also admitted he’d lost the enjoyment of owning and driving such a car because of fear of stone chips, minor dings and scratches (which can happen even when driving down country lanes or when going to the supermarket), envy vandalism, and/or simply leaving the car out in the weather. He’d created a show car, when he actually wanted a nice driver. However, in the original post of this thread, my present frustration and emotional concern must have been apparent. Thank you one and all for your support and advice, and in particular to those (Mathew, Paul, Russell) who very promptly offered a helping hand to actually do a chassis swap. As many of you know ; my intent was to buy a project-car because I had anticipated chassis issues when buying a cheap example ..but having lost my garage and garden, and also finally accepting that I’m getting too old to take on another big project - I went for a roadworthy example that I understood just needed recommissioning. Perhaps naively, I hadn't expected to break down on the way home (dual-carriageway driving) due to overheating, nor have to the steering wheel shake out of my hands at 60mph, nor to immediately replace the clutch, nor indeed to find a broken chassis. However., I must also emphasis that Bob (the prior owner) is a very nice gentleman indeed and given his dry weather use of the car.. to attend his monthly club meetings, or to show his beautifully presented TR at a local classic car event - the car was adequately roadworthy & serviceable ..albeit possibly having slowly / imperceptibly deteriorated over the past 20 years ..and so not in as sound condition as he honestly thought. I do not believe he sought to deceive me. On the contrary, the car was inexpensive (in terms of current TR values) and he was very kind to hold it for me as I moved home and then struggled to raise the money. Perhaps significantly that “slowly / imperceptibly deteriorated over the past years” is good reason for each of us to MOT our own cars ..And for each of us to insist on a current MOT when buying any future ‘supposedly roadworthy’ car. Back to this thread’s theme.. JohnD’s expressed “the enjoyment in a car depends on your ability to afford it” struck a particular cord with me. I can envisage ; if I had a beautiful home of my own, an almost-new modern car, and half-a-million in the bank, then I would might also be laughing at painting my Aston Martin DB4 race-car with rattle cans over the weekend. It would need a new paint job after the fire damage anyway. I read on < https://www.motortrader.com/motor-trader-news/automotive-news/used-car-prices-see-exceptional-growth-in-april-07-05-2021 > the average price of a used car in April ‘21 was £14,124. My daily, a Chrysler Grand Voyager I bought in October last year cost £550 ..so yeah., I guess I am a little out of sync with today’s prices. ! Nigel’s philosophical perspective, together with each from the perspective of a primary-hobby, help me balance things a little more. My friend Chris bought a bicycle for £4000 which was more than I might possibly have comprehended, but still I accept that his social life revolves around his mates and their cycling club. And as that helps him through the everyday trudge of working life ..then good luck to him. And then Nigel, Roger & Colin remind me to amortize the cost over hoped-for years of enjoyable driving and ownership of an attractive and very capable classic Triumph. Very true.., and always difficult to balance 'good enough' with its potential to fail again ..and then still need doing properly. Thank you to each who have contributed to my working through this conundrum. - - - My friend Rich, from the local TR group, spotted a replacement chassis offered by M&T Classics in Wolverhampton. This is who I’d bought my 'spare' TR4A engine off. It was a timely spot, and so I've spoken to them / Mark about buying it and also doing the swap. As they are specialist in TR restorations (Rich tells me is company was an award winner with at least one of their restorations), Mark can not only swap the chassis but will also sort out the boot droop and why the door fits are so uneven. His company has a good stock of both second-hand and new parts to hand, so the task will not be held up or compromised by a missing part that ought to be replaced. So if I take the car across next week then things can be done n’ dusted within three to four weeks. Hopefully then, they will give me back a car that is properly hanging together, fit for an MOT, and a solid foundation for my on-going addressing other age-related problems like the car’s wiring. It’s an unpalatable additional bill, which only thanks to a recent gift, I can afford. Once my old chassis is out then I'll have that back to sell (honestly !). In doing so I hope, recoup some of these costs. High quality repairs to this chassis would be 100 times easier, when its not under a car. I have spoken to Mark again ..to discuss matter and details which may save me costs. He's easy to discuss things with and is willing to work with me on this . . For example, the cost of them painting the chassis, before fitting, was going to be a deal breaker, so I was thinking through the logistics of collecting it, painting it, and then returning it to them. However after discussion, they will hand-paint the top face of the chassis before fitting the body. That saves my transporting it to & from Wolverhampton (340 mile round trip each time). I’ll then paint from underneath the rest of the chassis when I get the car back. I've had a paint-spotted face before ! They have agreed also to do some extra reinforcements I specifically want to the chassis' rear end ..because I plan to tow a small camping trailer. And the cost of labour for doing those - they are willing to offset against my removing the car's interior, bumpers and grille, and pre-loosening the body mounting and wing bolts. And of course I'll have to also refit the interior and bumpers etc when I get the car back. I'll also have them look at the panel fit and the condition of the sills, and hopefully to address those issues as they put the car back together again. Any additional work is to be price-agreed before being undertaken. They have a good stock of new and second hand spares which include known-to-be-good standard suspension springs, so they will correct the car's tilt (she's low on the driver's side) for the cost of those good-second-hand parts. The old / cracking diff mount rubbers are to be replaced with new poly-bushes which are apparently kinder on the chassis pins. That’s now been agreed, and so next Wednesday I hope to take the car across to M&T. They’ve said they're expecting the job to take 2 weeks of labour, spanning three or four weeks. So in little more than a month the car should be good to come home again. So, decision made ! ..which is always a relief. All I need to do inbetween rain showers this week is to strip the car ready for them. Pete.
    7 points
  35. poppyman

    Joke

    7 points
  36. poppyman

    Joke

    7 points
  37. It's funny how the Brexit agreement was 'the best of both worlds' for NI - no hard border on the island of Ireland, the implicit threat being that any kind of border infrastructure would be attacked - any by whom? Not the Unionists / Loyalists, so it must have been the threat of Irish Republican violence, once again, that swayed negotiations. We were promised free unfettered trade with the UK; this has been now blocked by the EU. Irish firms can deal with the UK through Northern Ireland; once into NI, with no border controls, it's free access to the rest of the UK. Coming the other way... well, UK traders coming to NI have to now apply to enter the EU with all sorts of form filling and prohibitions, with long delays and goods being refused entry. I can no longer get car parts from certain suppliers, can't get paint, garden plants, compost, shelves in supermarkets are empty or items are rationed, fresh meat and fish all under restrictions and becoming very expensive. Even Amazon won't supply to my postcode any more, nor will an increasing number of eBay sellers. It wasn't Boris who reneged on the deal, but the EU who appear to have been less than honest with their intentions. They're looking out for one of their own - fine - but have been repeatedly inflexible in any negotiation and are refusing any compromise. We're the ones who are suffering as a result; we feel that we've been scammed, but anyone who tries to stand up for us is derided. Telling us that we now have to stick to this one-sided bargain is akin to telling a scam victim that it serves you right...
    7 points
  38. Paulfc

    Maxxis Tyres

    Just to round the topic off, bought four Maxxis 165/80/15 tyres. I took the wheels off the TR and took them to the fitter (just couldn’t trust them to lift it sensibly) and paid £232 fitted, balanced, disposal fee and VAT. The final job, the balancing, was done by the apprentice who, as he wheeled them out to me, said, “We don’t usually bother balancing wheels for trailers”!
    7 points
  39. poppyman

    Joke

    7 points
  40. Phil Hayden

    Joke

    7 points
  41. Bfg

    Joke

    7 points
  42. Anglefire

    Joke

    7 points
  43. SpitFire6

    Joke

    6 points
  44. Yaaay. My car 99.9% finished. Been out driving for the first time in nearly 20 years. 37 years of ownership, literally my baby! You can imaging the ear to ear smile on my face 😁 Absolutely loving it, driving really well - better than I remember! Thanks so much to my good mate Pete Dunne (AKA Jade Muttley) who took a completely knackered GT6 shell a brought it back to as good as new. Although I pride myself in having rebuilt the car twice before myself, my standard was 100% off his, hence the ground up rebuild. Some of you may have followed the rebuild on youtube. This build has included a chassis replacement, engine recondition and a LOT of new parts. The car now has leather seats (recovered by an upholsterer mate). I also covered the dash pad in leather and most other vinyl parts including the rear panels (which all looks and smells amazing). My beautiful little car looks absolutely stunning and drives amazingly. I AM SO HAPPY for me AND my Car!!! Thanks to all the advice the forum have given me - all very valuable and highly appreciated. I still have a few jobs to do but none too important. THANK YOU! BTW, the SAH rocket cover I bought new 30 years ago. The rear seat I extracted from a Triumph breakers also around 30 years ago. Good investments in hindsight! Rich Some pics.
    6 points
  45. poppyman

    Joke

    6 points
  46. Paulfc

    Joke

    6 points
  47. poppyman

    Joke

    6 points
  48. It's the original colour, Ford Royal Maroon, which is virtually indistinguishable from Triumph Damson. I'm not allowed to park it next to the Carmine GT6 because my wife says they clash.
    6 points
  49. Anglefire

    Joke

    6 points
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