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15 hours ago, PeteH said:

There have been "Dafter" ideas that where at least orignally taken seriuosly, here`s a water shortage example?:-

By Tim Smedley21st September 2018

 

As South Africa faces ever more severe water shortages, some experts are seriously considering a proposal to harvest Antarctic icebergs and haul them to Cape Town. What are the chances it will succeed?

If towing icebergs to hot, water-stressed regions sounds totally crazy to you, then consider this: the volume of water that breaks off Antarctica as icebergs each year is greater than the total global consumption of freshwater. And that stat doesn’t even include Arctic ice. This is pure freshwater, effectively wasted as it melts into the sea and contributes to rising sea levels. Does it sound less crazy now?

 

This untapped flow of water has enticed scientists and entrepreneurs for over a century. There were 19th-Century schemes to deliver by steam-boat to India, and to supply breweries in Chile. In the 1940s, John Isaacs of the Scripps Oceanographic Institute proposed towing an iceberg to San Diego to quench a Californian drought. In the 1970s, Saudi Prince Mohamed Al-Faisal wanted to tow an Antarctic iceberg across the equator to Saudi Arabia, and funded two international conferences on the subject. The EU received proposals in the 2010s to tow an iceberg from Newfoundland to the Canary Islands.

 

Pete

 

During the “Battle of the Atlantic”    really massive aircraft  carriers made of ice were proposed by Geoffrey Pyke  ( cousin of Prof Magnus Pyke, “ TV boffin”)

Using ice made with straw and wood pulp - “ Pykrete” which could be kept refrigerated.

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A guy, on his wedding night is about to get it on with his newly wed for the first time in their hotel. They start to undress and he says, “God, I never realised that your tits were this small.” The wife gets all upset and understandably throws him out. While he is sitting in the lobby another guy comes down the hall. The first man said, “Hey, What happened?” “Well, I saw my wife naked for the first time tonight and all I said was, ‘Oh I never knew your arse was that big.’ and she threw me out just like that. Just then a third guy, also on his wedding night, comes storming into the lobby. “Hey, did you put your foot in it as well?” ask the first two men. “No,” says the third guy, “but I bloody well could have.”

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Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Arlene: What in the hell is that?
Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Arlene: Where did you get it?
Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.
The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and
announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what size, texture, brand of condom she prefers.
'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'
The pharmacist fainted!
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19 minutes ago, Colin Lindsay said:

I didn't get to see it, I read their cookie policy. You either accept cookies... or you accept cookies. There's no option for change and save. You think there is by the blue line at the bottom but it's the same as the one at the top. I get enough popup links and stuff already... :)

Sorry, only way i could get it on! I only have a smart phone to post bits up and this was sent to me on WhatsApp. 

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