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Pete Lewis
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A car full of Irish nuns are sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them.

"Hey, show us yer teets, ya bloody penguins." shouts one of the drunks. Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, "I don't think they know who we are; show them your cross." Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Piss off, ya fookin' little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off." She then rolls up her window, looks back at Mother Superior quite innocently, and asks,"Did that sound cross enough?"

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1 hour ago, Iain T said:

Sorry guys, it pasted OK but screwed up on posting....why?!?

You need to tick the 'paste as plain text' section that comes up below whatever you post, otherwise it will post as the original format but now on a different webpage which may have different spacing or other parameters. Does that sound suitably knowledgeable? :) I'm talking from previous experience and LOTS of edits but with no computer know-how other than how to play games... but I can screenshot:

148629846_ScreenShot2020-05-30at11_19_39.jpg.bfbe5b0b6ed2280dc4ef1e8cb9a17011.jpg

 

 

 

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 Thanks Colin, my life is now complete😁. I liked this joke.... 

A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.
  His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car." 
  The boy thought about that for a moment, decided, he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it. 
  After about six weeks his father said, "Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut." 
  The boy said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair." 
 
  (You're going to love the Dad's reply!) 
 
 
 
 
  
"Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went.

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