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Pete Lewis
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I love the first proper drink of the day. I love the tinkle of ice in the glass, and how the gin swirls around it. I love the fizz of the tonic as I pour it, and the splash of the lemon slice. I love the moment when I sit back, relax, sip it and reflect on the wonders of life.

But the wife always ruins it, carping about "there's work to be done" and "you're drinking too much."

 

why is she even up at 6am?

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It’s great great grandmas first day in the care home.

.She is placed comfortably in the sun lounge  with an a beautiful  view and seems  happy and contented.

The carers are  alarmed to see her face suddenly contort as she  appears to list  over to  one side in her chair.

They rush to her, fearing a stroke.The staff are relieved as she responds and smiles as she is straightened in her chair.

About an hour later, the same thing  happens with her slumped and leaning  to the other side.Again she appears to quickly recover as the staff  rush to her aid ,  straightening  her in her chair.

That evening her family visit.

”So. how is it here, grandma?” she is asked.

”The staff are all so lovely here” , she says,

then whispers , “ but they really don’t like it when you try to fart“

 

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3 hours ago, Iain T said:

Fantastic manoeuverability but it looks VERY unstable! 

When Laurie Bond designed these cars he invented the word unstable

Back in 1968 I was showing an apprentice friend how manoeuverable it was and tried a 90 degree turn at about 30mph - wow.

The car nearside wheel left the ground and I was starring at the car park gravel. on the off side. 

Thankfully the car righted itself like a plastic duck in the bath.  My mate was very impressed.  Oh to be young and foolish.

 

Roger

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On 14/08/2020 at 17:39, poppyman said:

It's really funny when these are left in gear and then kickstarted and they fire up :)  No reverse gear and front wheel drive..... one wheel drive.

Tony.

That's got to be a competitor for "Most embarassing way to die".  Run over by your own Bond 3 wheeler after forgetting it was in gear and kick starting it!

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It actually did happen to a chap i knew years ago. He was really unlucky in life, everything he did turned to sh*t. He was a window cleaner who always stepped back to admire his work. Poor chap was always in plaster, but when his car started in gear it down the road with him hopping along, through a wall and dropped 6ft into a car park with the car on top of him and his broken ladders at the side he did give up windows.... Even after all his mishaps, he was a pleasure to talk to and never complained....... Unlike some miserable tossers you get these days. He lived till he 92yrs old....... How i will never know.

Tony.  

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2 hours ago, Mjit said:

That's got to be a competitor for "Most embarassing way to die".  Run over by your own Bond 3 wheeler after forgetting it was in gear and kick starting it!

Interesting to see if you could keep one foot on the clutch and the other in the engine bay.... :)

Star Trek's Chekov (the latest one) was killed by his own car, and some guy fitted a remote starter to his 2002 Lexus then pressed the button whilst forgetting that it was in gear. Happens all the time.

 

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3 hours ago, 68vitesse said:

Many years ago had a Honda 90 which had a three speed gearbox and centrifugal clutch, light on top of headlight cowl to show it was in neutral. Standing beside it one day reved it up with out checking the light, very embarrassing but fortunately only a bit painful.

Regards

Paul

Got the "T" shirt Paul.... :( 

Tony.

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i was standing in front of my Renault25 auto thinking the idle  a bit slow,  under the bonnet , gave it a rev  and lucky it had a good handbrake i took two steps backwards 

and a red face ,  

my warranty supervisor got crushed when a chassis cab running at speed on a jack when the jack gave way smashed him against a barrier  before the days of H &S

hes was never a happy chap after that 

some times these things happen when youre not joking  

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I've told this before, but worth repeating.

Standing in the GT6 engine bay, feet planted between road wheel and side panel I dropped a pair of pliers which against all odds shorted the starter solenoid. And a sudden frightening jump forward! :o

Outcome:

Rubber boots on solenoid cable ends.

Battery isolator installed.

Before standing in the engine bay always check the car is in neutral, unless that was your deliberate intention ie doing the tappets.

Doug

 

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43 minutes ago, dougbgt6 said:

I've told this before, but worth repeating.

Standing in the GT6 engine bay, feet planted between road wheel and side panel I dropped a pair of pliers which against all odds shorted the starter solenoid. And a sudden frightening jump forward! :o

Outcome:

Rubber boots on solenoid cable ends.

Battery isolator installed.

Before standing in the engine bay always check the car is in neutral, unless that was your deliberate intention ie doing the tappets.

Doug

 

Also not a joke my son in law leaned over to start his 1974 Porsche 911 Targa . It was in gear and she went down the drive through electric gates over the road through a dry stone wall over the farmers field and hit the only telegraph pole . Totalled and 3 broken ribs trying to stop it . It gets worse . Only insured for £20k under insured by £10k . 

Paul 

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Unfortunetly we all do dumb things.
Thankfully we usually get away with it.
Unfortunetly we never seem to learn/grow out of it.  I give you lying under my 2000 a couple fo weeks ago jiggling the diff. to remove it...and watching the axel stands rock on their bases.  Queue one hasty retreat!

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I've posted this in the 'Blonde Moments' section too but: working on an automatic 1974 Reliant Scimitar SE5a, I removed the front brake calipers but found it too heavy to push into a position where I could work on the rear brakes... so I started the engine, put it into D, little touch of the accelerator and the car took off across the floor. 'Handbrake will stop it' thinks I, then realised it was on the bench too... I crashed into my metal workbench, stove the door in and cracked a lot of fibreglass on the front of the car, which I think was getting off lightly.

I also raised a Tr6 on my lift then someone pointed out to me that one of the pads wasn't supporting anything, just sitting in mid air. THAT came down very quickly before it came down even more quickly than intended...

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Back when I had an 1850 Dolomite, I needed to replace the propshaft. Put the front on ramps, the rear axle on stands, crawled under, did the job, all good. Then I jacked the rear axle, removed the stands, and lowered it carefully, while lying on the ground to see what I was doing. As the tyres touched down and the jack fell away I saw the front wheels edge off the flat bit of the ramps and onto the slope... and realised I hand't put the handbrake on. Somehow I managed to roll out of the way before the car rolled over where I'd just been lying.

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