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Pete Lewis
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Two Indians and an Anthropologist from an Irish University studying Native American customs were walking through the woods.

All of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave. "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" He called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering. "Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo!" He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

The Anthropologist was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about. "Was the other Indian crazy or what?"

The Indian replied. "No, It is our custom during the mating season that when Indian men see a cave, they holler 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there's a beautiful squaw in there waiting for us."

Then they came upon another cave. The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped and hollered. "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" Immediately, there was the answer. "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" From deep inside. He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.

The Anthropologist wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, "Hey, man! Look at the size of this cave! It's bigger than those the Indians found. There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!"

He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might. :Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"
Like the others, he then heard an answering call,

"WOOOOOOOOO,

WOOOOOOOOO

WOOOOOOOOO!"

With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave, tearing off his clothes as he ran.

The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read.....

.

.

.

NAKED VISITING SCIENTIST RUN OVER BY TRAIN!!!

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I went to a pub and ordered a pint. As the landlord put my drink down, I asked him for the wifi code. "Oh no," he said, "there's no wifi in here; people used to sit talking in pubs about their day, their families, work, politics, music, the lot - now people just stare at their phones and it breaks my heart to see; therefore, no wifi in this pub." "You know what?" I replied, "You're right!" and I put my phone away. "Thank you," the landlord said, "In this pub I want you to act as you would thirty or forty years ago." So I lit a cigarette, gave him £1 for the pint and said, "No problem mate."

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Paddy and Shamus were hitchhiking. "It's best if we split up," said Paddy. "I will meet you in the next city under the town hall clock". Later that night Shamus was waiting at the appointed place when Paddy drove up in a swank car. "Where the hell did you get that?" Paddy explained that he had just walked a little way when a beautiful woman picked him up. She drove into the woods, got out and took all her clothes off. She said I could have anything I wanted, so I took the car," said Paddy. "Good choice too," said Shamus. "You'd look ridiculous in her clothes."

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2 hours ago, Pete Lewis said:

then theres the old

the difficult takes time 

the impossible takes a little longer 

Pete

How does that other one go?

"We the willing, led by the unknowing, ruled by the unmentionable, are being asked to do the impossible for the ungrateful, yet we have done so much for so long with so little that we are now qualified to do anything with nothing."

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51 minutes ago, poppyman said:

Have you ever had one of "those" Colin? It feels like they are checking your teeth.....

Tony.

The only time was an internal examination for a suspected ulcer - stress-related, believe it or not! - and I had a stunningly beautiful brunette girl with lovely eyes, over a surgical mask, chatting to me about my hobbies whilst inserting a long well-lubricated pipe to pump me up with gas. I hear there are people who pay for that sort of thing. Personally, I'd have remortgaged my house.

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Just to let you guys know that I volunteered for the Russian COVID vaccination & had it in the Mater Hospital Belfast today at 08:45. So far so good, no reaktion or sekondary riski иi meиш че сеитгюд ерпестe аьио овут Лопес Обрадор, и я коррумпирован ил

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