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Pete Lewis
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55 minutes ago, poppyman said:

With or without turkey?

Tony.

That was in Brittany they don't eat turkey, just caramel beurre salé with everything washed down with cidre.

OK, so they also eat a lot of strange creatures they find under rocks while the tide is out. Before anyone says anything Boris isn't one of them.

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1 hour ago, Chris A said:

 

I'm sure its much more organised in Britain with Boris giving clear instructions and guidance. Oh, wait a moment just spotted that while he has been telling you all to stay at home and not travel his 'lady friend' and their child swanned off to lake Como.

Please can we fast forward to 2021?

Italy's not on the quarantine list.

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Paddy was in France and was invited to a dinner party where chicken is being served. The French host comes across the wishbone and calls everyone to attention. He holds up the bone, breaks it apart and asks his guests, “Now, what historical figure does that remind you of?” Nobody had an answer. Very proudly, he said, “Bonaparte!” Paddy was very impressed with this and when he returned home to Ireland he decided to have a party and told his wife to serve chicken and to make sure that wishbone was on his plate. Calling his guests to his attention, he held the bone up, broke it in two and asked, “Now which historical character does that remind you of?” Nobody had an answer.

 

Very pleased with himself, he said, “Napoleon!”

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Two old Irish guys are sitting in the pub discussing their relatively short futures.

"Which would you rather have, in the end - Alzheimers or Parkinsons?" asks one.

"Parkinson's" replied the other.

"Why's that?" asks the first.

"Because I'd rather spill a few drops of whiskey from my glass than forget where I left the entire bottle...."

 

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10 Facts About You  

1.You're reading this right now.

2. You're realising that this is a stupid fact.

4. You didn't notice that I skipped three.

5. You're checking now.

6. You're smiling.

7. You're still reading this even though it's stupid.

9. You didn't realise that I skipped eight.

10. You're checking again and smiling about how you fell for it again.

11. You're enjoying this.

12. You forgot that there's only supposed to be ten facts.

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Colin, wearing shields Only have just been banned here in Melbourne you have to use a mask if outside your property. Misting up is a right problem if you wear glasses with a mask, fortunately you can drive without a mask but I assume convertibles with roof down require a mask, It would be interesting to see how Mr Plod Reacts If you didn’t wear one would he fine you The $5k.

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22 hours ago, Peter Truman said:

Colin, wearing shields Only have just been banned here in Melbourne you have to use a mask if outside your property. Misting up is a right problem if you wear glasses with a mask, fortunately you can drive without a mask but I assume convertibles with roof down require a mask, It would be interesting to see how Mr Plod Reacts If you didn’t wear one would he fine you The $5k.

Can't you claim that your car is your property, so you're still inside it? Conversely if you have the top down, aren't you outdoors so don't require one in places like the UK? Debate time!

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22 hours ago, Peter Truman said:

Colin, wearing shields Only have just been banned here in Melbourne you have to use a mask if outside your property. Misting up is a right problem if you wear glasses with a mask, fortunately you can drive without a mask but I assume convertibles with roof down require a mask, It would be interesting to see how Mr Plod Reacts If you didn’t wear one would he fine you The $5k.

Back in June I took the ferry across lake Windermere in my Spitfire.  Sun out/top down - but I made a point of following the Covid "Wind up windows" signs :D

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My daughter has a Mk2 Spit currently has the Hood off and tonneau on but she hasn’t taken The car out since June, she also has a policeman as a neighbour I should ask her to ask him how he’d react to her driving mask less and hooddown? I bet 2 different policemen would have different responses!
hey we’re down to around 15 new cases per day so the 8pm curfew is off and provided we don’t travel more than 5klm two households of less than 5 people total can meet in the open with masks and a safe distance but supposedly NOT at each other’s houses ie an open park venue, it’s all very confusing and inconsistent why 5 people most family’s would consist of two grandparents and 2 adults plus 2 grandkids so wouldn’t 6 be more logical, and my daughter lives 30klm or 1/2 hour away, we haven’t seen her Or her kids since March, with the first and second COVID waves!

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Yes, as above, get used to wearing the bridge of your glasses over the mask, with pulled up the nose bridge, and you get far less misting.     OR, antimist solution is available, or just spit on the lenses and wipe!

If it weren't for their disastrous management of other aspects of the pandemic, you could forgive the Johnson johnsons for having to react and take decisions quickly and on minimal infomartion, but when their own ministers cannot explain the new regulations, it exposes their incompetence.      I apologise, this is a 'Joke' Thread, but they are a black joke of deepest hue.

John

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14 minutes ago, JohnD said:

when their own ministers cannot explain the new regulations, it exposes their incompetence.      I apologise, this is a 'Joke' Thread, but they are a black joke of deepest hue.

John

I think a lot of the confusion comes from Joe Public and it's not surprising that the Gov has to think carefully before replying. Some of it would make a great comedy sketch.

So no more than six people can meet, right?

Right.

Any six people?

No, just people from the same household.

Whose household?

Any of the six.

But what if they don't have a house?

Who? 

Any of the six?

Well, wherever they live.

So if you've a Granny and Grandad, and they live with their children, and their children's children, then they can meet?

Yes.

But if you've a Granny, and the Grandad's dead, and they live with their children, who aren't married, and they have children, can they meet up?

Yes.

And if there's no Granny or Grandad, just the parents, and they don't have any children, can they meet up?

Yes.

And if you've got a parent, and three children, and two of them have boyfriends, can they meet up?

If they all live in the same household, yes.

Whose household?

Whoever owns the house.

What if they don't own the house?

Twenty minutes later we've got to:

"So the two in the house who own the house, and drink, and want to go to the pub, and the two next door who rent their house, and want to go to the pub, with their two friends who live in a different household, and the man who owns the pub who is living there, and the man from around the corner who is already in the pub, but his wife's at home, and his daughter's out in a different pub with her boyfriend, and the Granny's in a nursing home, can they meet?

Yes.

Even accidentally?"

It's not far off what I've heard on the radio some mornings, from phone callers...

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