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Pete Lewis
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2 hours ago, Unkel Kunkel said:

May be your right, he may be misunderstood - I don’t know him.

However, when many folk were having a miserable  time, dutifully abiding by the rules  in LockDown - this  character  arrogantly disregarded all  the rules - and the law, and scurried  hundreds of miles away for a fortnight at a time of national crisis.

When exposed  ,he  brazened it out  with ludicrous Barnard Castle eye  test   account , and escaped any form of punishment or censure and hadn’t the grace, character or  decency even to  apologise or show any hint of empathy to the public who were having to forgo so much, even to the extent of not being able to see their deceased relatives.

That was just the impression I got.

- I may of course be wrong.

 

I suspect you are not too far from being spot on.

 

Roger 

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2 hours ago, Unkel Kunkel said:

May be your right, he may be misunderstood - I don’t know him.

However, when many folk were having a miserable  time, dutifully abiding by the rules  in LockDown - this  character  arrogantly disregarded all  the rules - and the law, and scurried  hundreds of miles away for a fortnight at a time of national crisis.

When exposed  ,he  brazened it out  with ludicrous Barnard Castle eye  test   account , and escaped any form of punishment or censure and hadn’t the grace, character or  decency even to  apologise or show any hint of empathy to the public who were having to forgo so much, even to the extent of not being able to see their deceased relatives.

That was just the impression I got.

- I may of course be wrong.

 

technically the only rule he broke and that was minor was his trip to Barnard Castle. And the excuse was of course stupid.

Funny how the 3 or 4 Labour Mp's who did worse have hardly been mentioned. But then that doesn't fit the media's narrative. 

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Scientific proof of what we knew already anyway .

Oxford University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction, that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.

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Thought a bit of 'down under' humour would lighten up a dull Monday. 

Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland ) 

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the farm - tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing! 

At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the back paddock!! 

This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody possum's bum and it don't move and it's not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - it's a piece of piss!! You don't even load your own cartridges, they comes in little boxes, and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload! 

Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster.
Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet, but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer. 

I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.

Your loving daughter,

Sheila

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I won a ticket to a celebrity livestock auction not long ago, anyway I bought a lovely little lamb as a pet for my daughter. As I was looking around with it under my arm I couldn't believe I saw Boris Johnson talking to Joaquin Phoenix, turned out to be quite sociable chaps so I pushed my luck and asked for a picture to which they agreed. I couldn't believe it, there I was, clown to the left of me, joker to the right, there I was stuck in the middle with ewe.

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I said to my doctor, "I'm having serious problems with my memory." He said, "Give me an example." I said, "The other day I spent two hours in a multi storey car park trying to remember where I'd parked my car." He laughed and said, "That's nothing to worry about, we've all done that." I said, "But I don't own a bloody car."

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On 23/11/2020 at 10:25, 68vitesse said:

Would this ever happen to a Triumph owner?.

I might of said this before, but years ago when we were lads, we'd done some work on a mate's sister's Herald. When she came to collect it he banged on the rear wing with the jack handle, and then claimed it was as bad a case of 'Jack Handling' he'd ever heard and would cost (probably beer) to fix. For years after she went on about how he'd cured her car of 'Jack Handling'

 

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On 23/11/2020 at 10:25, 68vitesse said:

Would this ever happen to a Triumph owner?

Can still remember giving a friend a lift in my Spitifre and getting paranoid about this new, hollow, rythmic, intermittent thumping noise that had suddenly started.  Asked my friend if he could hear it too which got the reply of "What, that one" as it suddenly started again.  "Yes!" I reply.

 

 

 

 

"That's me tapping my foot to the music on the radio, you idiot.".

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