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Gerard Hoffnung.

‚ÄĚThe bricklayer‚Äôs Lament¬†‚ÄĚ as delivered to the Oxford Union.

Gifted musician , cartoonist and comedian.Died very young.

Great comedic  timing:

‚ÄúI cast off (‚Äúorf‚Ä̬†¬†) the line.......... laughter.. ...Unfortunately ¬†.......laughter...¬†.......the barrel of bricks was heavier than I was ...... laughter.. ‚ÄĚ

03AFD538-903D-4EBB-A142-C97C4087B0E0.jpeg

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15 hours ago, Unkel Kunkel said:

Gerard Hoffnung.

‚ÄĚThe bricklayer‚Äôs Lament¬†‚ÄĚ as delivered to the Oxford Union.

Gifted musician , cartoonist and comedian.Died very young.

Great comedic  timing:

I once worked with his nephew who could remember him. Apparently he was just as funny in real life.

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6 hours ago, 68vitesse said:

No such thing as a new joke, just variations on a theme.

Regards

Paul

Certainly.

That formed the basis of jokes in a large prison.

Stop me if I’ve told this one...

An old lag  explained it to a new inmate:

‚ÄĚEveryone has¬†been in so long ¬†we¬†know¬†¬†all the jokes there are - everyone there is , all of them -¬†there are¬†no new ones‚ÄĚ

“We know them all so well, we have a number  for each joke. We just shout out the numbers  to pass the time in the evenings.

Just then someone shouted ¬†‚ÄĚ Fifteen¬†!‚ÄĚ There were¬†roars of laughter.

Another person then¬†shouted ‚Äú A¬†hundred and twenty five!‚ÄĚ followed again by prolonged laughter and applause.

Another voice suddenly¬†¬†shouted ‚ÄúTwelve !‚ÄĚ but it was followed only by silence and then a few¬†¬†groans.

‚ÄĚWhat happened there?‚ÄĚ ¬†asks the new inmate .

‚ÄĚOh, that was Charlie‚ÄĚ

‚ÄĚHe never could ¬†tell a joke ,could¬†Charlie‚ÄĚ

 

 

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Borrowed from Facebook

Priti Patel is touring the countryside in a chauffeur-driven car. Suddenly, a cow jumps out into the road, they hit it full on and the car comes to a stop.

Priti, in her usual bullying manner, says to the chauffeur: 'You get out and check - you were driving.'

The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead.

'You were driving; go and tell the farmer, ' says Priti.

Five hours later, the chauffeur returns totally plastered, hair ruffled, with a big grin on his face.

'My goodness, what happened to you?' asks Priti.

The chauffeur replies: ' When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter made love to me. '

'What on earth did you say?' asks Priti.

'I knocked on the door, and when it was answered, I said to them: I'm Priti Patel's chauffeur and I've just killed the cow.'

Paul 

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14 hours ago, thescrapman said:

The comment at the bottom is funnier than the picture. It is exactly what I was thinking.

Reminds me of the one where the man (originally from a certain island) goes to stay at a luxury hotel, way above anything he's ever seen before, and decides to try a few of the activities on offer including shooting. He's issued with a shotgun, cartridges and full safety gear and instructions, then the clerk asks if he requires gundogs.

"Gundogs?"

"Yes, for the whole shooting package. Highly trained and make for a completely enjoyable experience."

The man agrees, takes the gun, collects a pair of beautiful gundogs from the kennels, then off he goes.

"Bang.... bang"

He arrives back at the desk.

"That was brilliant. Can I get another pair of gundogs?"

 

 

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