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Pete Lewis
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Engineering Dissertation On "HELL"

 

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

 



If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which explains why last night Teresa kept shouting "Oh, my God!"

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".

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Gee I missed that one, here in Vic workplaces have only returned to work in the last couple of weeks and then a max of 25% of office staff at a time, the balance of the full time is still working from home so presumably they did what they have normally been doing since March walk out of the house and pick the kids up from school! Other states haven’t been in lockdown so maybe there was more activity!

They should get equal pay and conditions esp for the same job and there should be equal opportunity, but a fixed quota? 

 

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1 minute ago, Peter Truman said:

They should get equal pay and conditions esp for the same job and there should be equal opportunity, but a fixed quota? 

 

I'm for equal pay, same job, same money, there's no excuse for any difference. Don't however start me on flexi hours and shared jobs... 😮

 

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Re anti Quota’s, I once had a woman boss ( lady?) in a pure engineering environment who had an Arts degree and was previously a nurse, when frustrated once I told her it was the first time I’d had a boss who knew nothing about the business.

Shows you how wrong I was after leaving the company she rose to very giddy heights non engineering tho, she was very well connected, no we don’t still communicate!

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1 hour ago, Colin Lindsay said:

I'm for equal pay, same job, same money, there's no excuse for any difference. Don't however start me on flexi hours and shared jobs... 😮

 

Have to agree there Colin about equal pay for same job. But job share makes life easy for people if they organise it between themselves, but should not be forced into it. Zero hours contracts are the biggest scam going.

Tony.

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1 hour ago, poppyman said:

Have to agree there Colin about equal pay for same job. But job share makes life easy for people if they organise it between themselves, but should not be forced into it. Zero hours contracts are the biggest scam going.

Tony.

Don't want to hi-jack the jokes thread, but job share and flexi hours are fine in theory, but a nightmare in practice - ever tried finding someone for half of a four-hour-a-day job where the other party has the right to work the middle two hours, so that the other party will have to come in for an hour, go home, then come back for another hour? 

Actually there was a job advertised recently looking for a flexible babysitter; the guy advertising said it was nothing to do with the hours, it was because his wife only did one position...

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7 hours ago, poppyman said:

Agree there Iain, wouldn't swop mine either.... Not after 41 years anyway :) 

Tony.

Agreed mine of 52 years she managed the family, home and financials I went to work and had fun! Wouldn’t have changed places for quids she has done a great job.

When I got my 30 year watch I insisted that it was engraved with her name and thanks from the statutory authority for being the backstop because of my work in emergency out of hours interference on family life, the MD made a big thing about it, it was also a ladies watch!

Now back to the Jokes!

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