Blonde Moments

[Pete Lewis]

ChrisA thought we needed a blonde moment section for gaffs and unmentionable cock ups

 

 

I'll start, as said if I had ever had a Blonde moment Im sure I should remember

 

 

I once used some clear silicon to attach headlamp shields to my vitesse6

as the clips dont fit vitesse bezels glued them on and rolled car back in garage

next day found I had run over the tube on the floor and glued the tyre to the floor

 

Not a Blonde in sight

[dougbgt6]

Have I told you this before?

 

After an exhausting day trying unsuccessfully to split my ball joints and having resorted to my largest persuader , knowing I shouldn't really , I gave up. Returned to the house and slumped in the chair with a consolatory glass of the golden throat nargler. "Surely there must be a tool for this?" Onto the interweb, onto Ebay.

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Sealey-Ak380-Ball-Joint-Splitter-Puller-Remover-Brand-New-/321771367578?hash=item4aeb116c9a

 

"God damn it! I've got one of those!" Into the garage, open the drawer, there it is, right at the front.

 

I did used to be blond, when I had hair, clearly the curse still remains.

 

Men are blond women are blonde, didn't know that for a long time.

[s.leah]

next day found I had run over the tube on the floor and glued the tyre to the floor

 

Not a Blonde in sight

That's made my day.

Sorry but I can't stop laughing, it's hilarious!

 

Did you manage to unstick it without damage?

[Pete Lewis]

yes wasted a tube of clear goo but it hadnt really set solid, and it peeled off Ok 

 

and the lamp stone guards were still stuck on when she was sold last year 

 

the light mark on the garage floor was covered over with some nice checker plate vinyl from Costco....  snazzy !!!   not blonde

 

Pete

[Eddie]

My modern car has parking sensors. My Ford Zodiac does not.

 

However a couple of years ago I forgot this and reversed the Zodiac into my mother's garden fence.

 

Fortunately I was going very slowly so no damage done, except to my pride.

[Pete Lewis]

just been out to get the bins back in , its 7.30am  and Im testing my new verco slippers with Pom Pom on Im safe there's knowone about.

 

nip out quick , there a bit loose and nearly left them behind... and .........................theres a guy walking his  Dog. 

 

           I mean they're blue  with a  yellow pompom   nothing to outrageous !!....

                        The dog gave me a funny look so i legged it in quick 

 

 

Pete

[dougbgt6]

7.30am ?!!

 

Blimey! I get up at the crack of 9.30.

 

When are we going to see a photo of this elegant new footwear?

[PeterH]

I wish I'd read the thread on profile photos before I tried to update mine and deleted the old one .................. derrrrrrrrrrr

[Pete Lewis]

pom pom  photo ..............   never 

 

they give me bad dreams of bed baths and plastic pants  !!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

profile....picture deletion is best in the do you remember or old age posts     ha !

[dougbgt6]

PeterH,

 

Having read the profile picture thread I tried to create one using a picture I'd previously uploaded to my gallery, to my surprise it worked. You could search other peoples galleries to find a similar car to your own and copy that as a temporary stop gap? I wonder if the system will let you?

[Colin Lindsay]

Never ever believe the rubbish that if you change a car from positive to negative earth you have to reverse the wires to the wiper motor as it will otherwise run backwards. It can't physically be done in any case; there's a lug on the tab of the main power cable preventing this. However with perseverance and a pair of scissors it can be accomplished... so I did it on my first Herald - remember that the switch merely earths the permanent live current. For a few minutes nothing happened, then smoke from under the dash confirmed a melted wiring loom. 

So... I labelled it, removed it, repaired the melted bits with fresh new cable, and refitted it.... exactly the same way as before. The second and larger puff of smoke required an entire new loom.

[PeterH]

Colin

 

You know electricity is really smoke. After all when a wire melts and the smoke escaped it stops working (if you don't know the full theory Google Electricity and Smoke, I believe it was originally expounded by a Mr. Joseph Lucas)

 

Peter

[NeilF]

Heard a nice little story the other day, definitely a blond moment.

 

Back in the 80's a bloke had a Vitesse that wasn't running too well. So a quick check of the timeing and minor adjustments and all seemed well. Next day a long run out, but after about 50 miles with the car running well, smoke started coming from under the bonnet. Pull over, lift the bonnet and there, still connected between number 1 plug and the distributor was a very sorry mess of a timing light, still flickering but a melted mess of the body smoking away.

 

Oh dear, but car still OK.

 

NeilF 

[Pete Lewis]

Wallpapering

Despite a string across the paste bucket why when youre not looking does the brush leap off and land

handle down in the paste ...yuk

 

pete

[dougbgt6]

Could be worse, could be foot in bucket and that would be the end of those lovely slippers!

 

Yes, I've done it, but not lately.

[Pete Lewis]

doesnt that make a noise when you walk ???

[Waynebaby]

I had a work colleague who drained the oil out of his nice BMW and then drove it to Halfords to get some oil. Oddly enough he didn't make it (the really worrying thing is that at the time he was head of the Work Planning department!) 

[Colin Lindsay]

He must have known a certain resident of Banbridge, Co Down who put copper grease on his brake pads... on the front. He claimed he was told it would stop brake squeal and how on earth would it do that if it was on the rear? 

[Pete Lewis]

Yikes greasy spoon is one thing but greasy pads !!!!!!

 

pete

[Unkel Kunkel]

A job promotion for a friend  of mine  meant that he was now likely to have to go to several official functions per year.

Trying on his dinner suit for the first time in over  twenty years he found his girth had increased considerably  and the style of the suit was very outdated.

With the guidance of his wife he bought a new  extremely  expensive dinner suit.

Not really his sort of thing at all,  on returning home he put it straight into the wardrobe and consigned the old suit to the dust bin.

Next  month ,hurrying to get into his  new suit for the first of the season's  functions he found the suit to feel  tight - very tight - like his old suit ,in fact very like his old suit...he had  thrown his new very expensive suit into the dust bin

[Pete Lewis]

been decorating the hall and stairs , there's a mirror we Had from work when I got married in 1968 well its got to go back, the fittings were 1968 and needed some upgrade so, a quick rumage found some nice brass hangars, just need to drill a 2mm  pilot in the frame , not too deep  its a thin frame

 ,keep your  pinkies out the way    .....ouch  !!!!

 

      well i suppose the blood will wash off 

 

        and  why does every one use the last sticky plaster  and put an empty box back in the cupboard Grrrr  !!!!

 

             pete

[DerekS]

Once worked with a guy, a very clever Engineer, he came in to work with a bandage on his finger... a cordless drill and a 1/8" drill bit, the drill slipped and he needed stitches. Ouch (1).

The following day he was back at work again but with a bigger bandage and traces of blood on the bandage. It turns out that he'd had another go at the same job, the drill had slipped again and gone into the same finger, through the bandage and ripped the stitches right out!

Ouch (2) Strangely, his name was Pete as well...no offence!????

[dougbgt6]

While dad was cutting the grass the mower jammed. He took a stick and poked at the blades which sprang into life and suddenly his hand was in  the machine. We disconnected him, wrapped his hand in a towel and took him to hospital. It didn't look good, his hand was covered in grass, dirt and dog do. They lost count of the stiches at 120.

 

There was a chauffer waiting in casualty with us who'd slammed his finger in a car door. He went in after dad and needed 2 stiches.

 

3 months later dad was at therapy and met the chauffer. Dad's hand, although not a pretty sight (He was known ever after as old banana fingers) was almost healed. The chauffer however had got gangrene and lost his finger.

 

Life is unfair.

[Pete Lewis]

I feel much better after those mis haps

 

  at work we had a Safety officer who lost a finger when he checked if a bar guillotine was working   ...it was

 

           there's a balance between experience and senior moments but i havnt found it yet 

 

 

Pete

[Colin Lindsay]

just need to drill a 2mm  pilot in the frame , not too deep  its a thin frame

 

 

Around 1991 I decided I wanted a garden lattice running about twenty feet down the side of a steep slope. I deduced a ready-made one wouldn't fit the contours of the slope so decided to buy over 900 feet of inch by half-inch six foot wood strips and make my own. This involved measuring a six-inch gap between lengths and then drilling a pilot hole and screwing them together whilst holding them in place... by hand. I lost count of the number of times I forgot to stop drilling and went through the palm of my hand.