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Blonde Moments


Pete Lewis
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Just a quick question: if you have spent all of yesterday fitting a plasterboard ceiling plus insulation, finished late last night totally knackered as the plasterer has decided to make contact after months of silence and will arrive at 8am the next morning... and he arrives at 8am on the dot, does a lovely job of plastering the ceiling, not a mark on it... and an hour after he's finished 'Er Indoors comes home, looks at the ceiling, admires it, asks "is it dry yet" and pokes it with a finger...

Where did you bury the body?

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As a plaster myself for over twenty years , it should have set in 1.5 to 2 hours from when he mixed it, indeed normally the polished flat surface is normally  done as the plaster goes off. Plus your mrs must have a long reach to get to the ceiling, would not like to come across her in the boxing ring!

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28 minutes ago, Mathew said:

As a plaster myself for over twenty years , it should have set in 1.5 to 2 hours from when he mixed it, indeed normally the polished flat surface is normally  done as the plaster goes off. Plus your mrs must have a long reach to get to the ceiling, would not like to come across her in the boxing ring!

Lol yes she barely left a fingerprint, but had to stand on the two milk crates he left to get a closer look. Had she seriously marked it, it would have been instant and summary justice... :)

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2 hours ago, Colin Lindsay said:

 

Where did you bury the body?

Where do you bury the body? Time to get on with the new patio project 😜

Some years ago we had an old extension, the builders did the insulation and plasterboarded the walls. Mrs came home and from about 3 metres away pointed at the far corner and said 'it's not square'.

Course it is I said and to prove it got the 1 metre long square they had left and put it in the corner. At 1 metre there was maybe 3 mm error! Probably the extension was never true.

 

 

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One of the joys of life is knowing that Britains "favourite" Vodka, Is made---------In Warrington!.

And to continue the "strong booze theme". A friend came back from visting his Relatives in  the "Emerald Isle". And came to a Festival we where Marshalling with a Bottle of Vodka (The Warrington brand). At the end of  the night he left the bottle behind. As I never touch"spirits" anymore I gave it to Youngest son, who with the DIL duly disposed of it and complained of being "well out of it". My Friend laughed when I told him. It was the "Juice of the potato".😂

Pete

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needed some of that this weeks gearbox re  build took 3 days , i blame covid or brain fade

seemed that some thing i can do blindfolded ended up having to strip off whats just fitted as one important bit was sitting on the bench

silly things like fit speedo drive but left mainshaft circlip off  and then remove old front oil seal a fit clutch hsg with out it  thrust washers that jammed the cluster  ,  

then the antirotaion pin hole in rimmers  new lay spindle was not deep enough to locate the roll pin  and so it went on 

but with lots of tea its done 

its not supposed to be like this 

Pete

 

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17 hours ago, Badwolf said:

I have a soft spot for people like Lady Lindsay.....

Lol how did you know that she actually is Lady Lindsay? Must tell her that she's famous... :)

16 hours ago, PeteH said:

One of the joys of life is knowing that Britains "favourite" Vodka, Is made---------In Warrington!.

Everyone knows that the monks of Buckfast Abbey make Buckfast wine.

My mother is in a  Nursing home called Belvedere... now I know what they do there all day...

760524550_BelvedereImage2_Site.jpg.b2a3bbb7279763ad3506a52992462796.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

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And today's blonde moment (actually yesterdays...)

Fitting the waterpump / thermostat housing to the 1200 block - the usual three bolts. One long, one middle and one short. Where do they go? Long one is obvious but workshop manual makes no reference to longer or shorter with regards to the other two. I tested the length of the holes in the head - both the same depth. Maybe it's later cars have a different head? Middle bolt is too long to tighten fully so: easiest option is to trim 1/4 inch off the end. Dremel takes ten seconds, bolt fits right to the head. Job done.

Today's job: fit alternator. Alternator bracket goes to top bolt of waterpump housing. Why is the bolt too short.....? Oops....

 

 

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  • 1 month later...

And it's me yet again... why is it always me? Despite all the care love and precision I try to put into things, today's mishap involves replacing the rearmost bearing cap on a 1200 after replacing the thrust washers and bearings... I offered up the bolts into the housing, noticed a small piece of dirt on one so removed it to wipe clean... and the spring washer fell off and disappeared down inside the engine. It could not be found for love nor money, so had to remove everything again and thankfully found it down behind the rear oil seal housing.

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Things you have found in a car or engine, that should not be there.

I've found a mole wrench clamped on the frontwing seam of a Capri.     Like the underwing, it was thickly covered with underseal.

 

 

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A racoon... still alive ... and very, very annoyed.... he was unharmed but he was such a bastard we just opened the hood/bonnet and put some food out and hoped he would figure it out on his own-.... he did!

A friend was driving through Blackpool and there were a bunch of seagulls eating fries (chips) in the road. He drove slowly up to them and assumed they had all flown away....

About 1/4 of a mile down the road someone stopped him... a seagull had got caught "spread Eagle" in the bull horn on the front of the Range Rover and was very cross....

 

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You're gonna love this one, then... as a result of all the shenanigans with bearing housings and thrust washers I tied myself up in knots trying to work out is this or that the correct way round, so having a spare early 1200 engine on the garage floor I decided to remove the sump and see how they sat in that one.

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Not much use to me, as they're different from the later engine I'm working on ( but if 'Stanpart' on the casting face goes to the rear I'm happy) however what's that metal loop to the side of the oil pump?

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One old thrust washer jammed down the side of the oil pump. This engine has a gauze across the sump so it couldn't fall completely in. Where's the other one? Not where it's meant to be, either. From the dots punched into the bearing housings things have been replaced on this engine before; it's just that the old ones weren't exactly disposed of properly...

E873E74E-8328-4135-A6C1-CB62D7402FB0_1_105_c.jpg.33e1394d3afa1e7706aa482e9c612551.jpg

 

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I assisted a friend rebuild a Minor 1000 A series engine. In the bottom of the sump was a locking tab which fits on the main bearing cap and then folds over to lock the bolts.  All were in place on the bearing caps and securely in place.  The locking tab was perfectly flat so had never been bent.  Our guess is that when the engine was originally assembled in the BMC factory, some employee had dropped the tab into the engine, could not see where it had gone so took another one from the tray and continued with the build.  On turning the engine the correct way up, the tab fell into the sump and had resided there from when the car rolled off the production line.

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5 hours ago, Colin Lindsay said:

And it's me yet again... why is it always me? Despite all the care love and precision I try to put into things, today's mishap involves replacing the rearmost bearing cap on a 1200 after replacing the thrust washers and bearings... I offered up the bolts into the housing, noticed a small piece of dirt on one so removed it to wipe clean... and the spring washer fell off and disappeared down inside the engine. It could not be found for love nor money, so had to remove everything again and thankfully found it down behind the rear oil seal housing.

At work we were checking the calibration machine, pm work. One of the cover bolts slipped out of my hand and into the machine! Where did it fall? It had to be found as there were geared rollers and an oil bath, if left it would wreck it. So 20 frantic minutes feeling round the oil bath and trying to look round the gears . Then out of the corner of my eye i saw it on the floor! It had bounced off the gears to the floor when it fell! Relief i did not want to be explaining why there was no production the next day, as a stripdown would knock production for several hours. 

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13 hours ago, GrahamB said:

I assisted a friend rebuild a Minor 1000 A series engine. In the bottom of the sump was a locking tab which fits on the main bearing cap and then folds over to lock the bolts.  All were in place on the bearing caps and securely in place.  The locking tab was perfectly flat so had never been bent.  Our guess is that when the engine was originally assembled in the BMC factory, some employee had dropped the tab into the engine, could not see where it had gone so took another one from the tray and continued with the build.  On turning the engine the correct way up, the tab fell into the sump and had resided there from when the car rolled off the production line.

If only you could identify who the production line worker was... you could track him down and tell him: "You can relax now, mate, we found it...."

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  • 1 month later...

The last time I used the Yeti when I got back I put something in the storage thing on the dash and must have caught the hazard lights button. About 5 hours later I spotted them and switched them off.

This morning I thought maybe I should put the car on charge 'just in case'. Then thought, where is the battery anyway?

Only had the car 4 years so hardly needed to open the bonnet.

Found battery with its nice little cover to keep it warm. How do you charge it? There doesn't seem to be a '-' terminal, spotted the '+'.

Had to get the book out . . 🙄. As the car has stop/start there is a box of electronics in the place of the '-' and it says connect to the engine earth, well it says it in French. Decided I didn't need to charge it but I am a lot wiser, I can show anyone where the battery is hidden

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2 hours ago, Chris A said:

This morning I thought maybe I should put the car on charge 'just in case'. Then thought, where is the battery anyway?

On our Renault Grand Scénic I could find the battery but it is wedged in so that my jumper cables could really fit.

So we try to start it with my holding the connectors to the battery.

Nothing.

I call roadside services. He has a special little clamp and I kid you not I had to do something like.

Get out of the car and "reset" it, i.e. move at least 2 meters away.

Get back in. Push the start button  with the key but not start the engine. Hold the button down 10 seconds.

Get out again.

Come back and then start the engine...

I told him I thought he was taking the pi$$ but he swears it is necessary.

It did start though and of course the whole procedure is not documented anywhere...

 

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