Unkel Kunkel

Shouldn't be a problem in a pressurised plane! Meanwhile, in the afternoon Flatology clinic of Dr Janus (Hugh to his friends) Mr Sprout, "I have self referred myself to your special clinic, doctor" Dr J, "How can I help?" Mr S, "Well, My farts are so unusual I thought your department might like to investigate them in the interests of medical science.I don't mind being sent for tests and investigations " Dr J, " Mmm, tell me about them" Mr S"Well, They are very very frequent 10 -20 a day and they last a very long time -up to 3-4 minutes each, sometimes up to a quarter of a hour" Dr J "That is unusual,Mr Sprout , and it must cause you a great deal of inconvenience." Mr S "Not really doctor, even though I spend several hours a day in board meetings, meet clients for lunch and I go to the theatre nearly every evening, luckily the other really unusual thing about my farts is that they are all completely silent.I started one your waiting room and it's still going" Dr J "I would like you to take this referral form over to the hospital,please" Mr S " Is it the first of the special tests?" Dr J,"No Mr Sprout ,it is for a hearing aid"

Hilarious, Cookie! This a subject which holds fascination and is studied very widely ,mainly at a very personal level, but also in in academic institutions throughout the world through the science of Flatology. Through extensive flatological research we know that the answer to Pete's question lies in the colon.It is here where intestinal fermentation of the polysaccharides takes place. The Brassica genus - such as sprouts are known to be sulphur containing.The fermenation impart a small, but highly significant ,amount of hydrogen sulphide, H2S to the nitrogen, and air of the flatus. Also in the flatus, there is hydrogen and methane which of course are are flammable. Yes, flammable - but please don't try this at home (but if you really must, then only try it at home) Flatology also studies the question of the effect of high altitude on flatus. High Altitude Flatus Expulsion, or HAFE as we flatologists like to call it is a remarkarble phenomenon experienced by climbers and others when above 11,000 feet(largely explained on the basis of Boyle's law) Dietary advice for these adventurers is avoid ingestion of brassicacae (with special note here to Pete - no sprouts ) ref: .Aeurbach Miller .West Jr. Med., Vol.134(2) 1981 Feb Astronauts have provided further research data specific to the special challenges associated with their unique environment. Although much work was published on this subject in the 1980 , more recently this area of study has been silent (but deadly)

Cue the flatulent dowager and the butler joke ?

The explosion risk is when or there has been "gassing" Oxygen also comes off then ,Pete. Gassing occurs during charging (especially overcharging whether bench charging or alternator fault) and at end of bench charging. It is also more likely on sulphated batteries ie old clapped out, run flat or so called "week-end" cars. When the battery is getting charged there is release of hydrogen and also because electrolysis of water,also oxygen= 2H2O => 2H2 (g) + O2 (g) The hydrogen explodes "best" at a concentration of 4-70%. Normal atmosphere. is 21% O2 .So these conditions are fairly easily met inside the battery and its immediate environs. The result is quite dramatic and not without risk of quite serious injury as the fragments of battery can fly like shrapnell (as Colin described); eyes are at risk and although deafness after explosions is often temporary it can be permanent. It is said that since mid 1990s and trend towards lead calcium batteries etc batteries gas less anyway and are getting safer- they certainly last longer. Since sulphated batteries are more likely to go bang when charging it suggests not letting your battery get very discharged an excuse for frequent use of your vehicle and/or use of one of these clever little trickle charger/.maintenance charger such as CTEK etc being rather cautious of vigorously charging old sulphated batteries that you know are near to dead. Dearly beloved, Here endeth the lesson

Had to charge a battery recently- haven't had to for years. Got me thinking about mishaps that I had seen or been involved with over the years So at risk of sounding like some preaching 'elf and safety bod here we go. My main point is these folk, in each case, were professional sensible people- in one case a respected motor engineer of over forty years experience. Beware Direct shorting of battery terminals: 2 cases- 1) A long ring spanner touched both terminals=Loud bang,part of spanner blew off.red hot spanner 2 burnt fingers. 2) Again direct short -across terminals of a tractor battery.This time short through spanner and metal strap of wrist watch resulting in nasty circumferential burn to wrist. -another reason to remove your wristwatch when" mechanicking" - esp if it has metal strap Explosion from hydrogen: A very experienced car mechanic charging a battery in a room where many batteries were stored and several on charge= He disconnected the battery without switching off the charger at mains first - spark from battery terminal caused explosion from hydrogen build up.Battery blown to pieces.He was splashed with acid.He doused himself with water.He sustained a corneal abrasion from the flying battery debris aggravated by the acid.Twenty years on he has gets frequent painful flare ups of of inflammation from his damaged cornea requiring drops for 2 weeks.He has resisted the idea of a corneal transplant but his vision is extremely poor in this eye. There were explosions when mini owners peering into the boot to check the battery used a lighted match....

I've done far worse things and not always involving cars. -more "Mr Bean" than "Blonde" - Remarkably, I do still have a full head of hair -perhaps the EP90 has qualities as a hair product.The bouquet does needs a bit of further development work, I admit.

There's seems to have been loads of opinions on this over the years but for me, Pete and Clive's assessments of the subject have convincingly concluded the debate = EP gear oil not engine oil. EP's sulphurous aroma does have some strange attraction but I rather went off it many years ago.As a teenager feeling rather pleased with myself changing the clutch on my dad's 105e Anglia I thought I would remove the gearbox without draining it.After removing the propshaft rear mounting etc I was looking up , guiding the gearbox down and rearwards when 1 1/2 pints of EP 90 poured out of the tailshaft over my head ,face and shoulders.A humbling experience.I was convinced I could still it smell for many weeks afterwards.

Have used brick cleaner many times .Very effective- and very cheap. It will cut through lots rust leaving a grey surface pitted where the rust has been. It makes many of the expensive, so-called rust treatments look ineffective. It is ,as you say hydrochloric acid( not phosphoric acid) some refer to it by the ancient term muriatic acid Problem can be rusting again very rapidly if not washed and dried speedily. Washing with di-onised water afterwards then hot air gun and a wipe with Jenolite (which has posphoric acid in it) , dry off again.then prime. There are obvious dangers from handling -(but no more than when you're cleaning bricks) so vinyl gloves and proper eye protection- and have an "escape plan" in your head - to irrigate skin eyes with water and or milk if mishaps do occur.

Hi Garry Steve and Dick make give important pointers Very much an amateur ,I have learnt so far that a safe working principle with these flipping cars is there's always more rust than you think there is. -so it's likely if your outer sills are bad then don't be surprised if middle and inner sills and where the floor flange meets same. If you don't know about these books. They helped ,and continue to help, me a lot: Practical Classics="Triumph Spitfire Restoration" (as mentioned by Dick ). Still available on Amazon. As a complete novice ,I found it very useful-especially the Pics.Note though ,they took the body shell off the chassis -don't do this!(These guys had a special jig made to put the body on to prevent distortion) "Classic car bodywork" by Martin Thaddeus covers all manner of repairs to car body work including a section specifically dealing the replacement of floor and sills on a Spitfire. Pictures are really good. This is a really excellent book. -Again see Amazon Haynes Restoration Manual Triumph Spitfire GT6 Vitesse and Herald " is also worth a look.Pictures are b&W and not up to the standard of the other two.The restorer does Spitfire floor and sills and fair bit of patch repairs but book tries to cover too much. Re-iterate re need for bracing -adjustable preferably Keep the door on.(the door is pretty heavy so the bracing will be needed for this alone) Not just "fore and aft" to avoid a banana shaped car and for for reasonable door gaps but also remember it is needed to ensure that you can wind the door window up fully without it fouling the windscreen pillar.. As for the sequence i would go with the advise posted. by Dick. Certainly avoid taking the A lower panel and floor out at the same time if your sills are shot (like wot I did first time) or the bulkhead will be all wobbling over the place even with a door brace and able to move outwards ie laterally, or "athwartships" (I had to put a lateral brace between door brace and the chassis bolts near inner aspect of cross member to control this) I was more learned for the next side.. Best of luck Andrew

If the vinyl covering of the cards is ok you can use the old hardboard as a template for new card.I used twin wall acrylic sheet which is abut the same thickness as the hardboard.(B&Q cost about £6 , I think -for both doors) Cutting the holes needs some patience and care. Vinyl glued on with Evostik .Hidden from view,Even if it does get wet it won't matter.

Cheap oil ...I remember an elderly relative who , as an engineer reponsible for a large fleet of heavy lorries,prided himself on the lack of engine failures and used to tell all who would listen how he insisted on more frequent oil changes than were specified and how he used the best quality oil,... "Oil's cheaper than engines,thou knows, lad"......

Waxoyl or similar. The standard pump type sprayer for Waxoyl isn't really up to much compared with a compressor driven Shutz gun with lance type attachement (Amazon.Ebay etc -mine was made by Plastic Padding ) Heat the Waxoyl first- place the cannister in a container of very hot water( NOT heating it over a naked flame unless you like living dangerously- Waxolyl is surprisingly flammable)

Also worth having a look at the engine mountings and the gearbox rear mounts - if these have deteriorated/broken/come loose can cause quite dramatic juddering esp moving off up an incline or reversing up an inclin Andrew

CJ Autos hydraulic ramps are excellent! Don't take up much storage space Easy drive on ( folded down height is very small - will clear spoilers etc) Pump up hydraulics, then lock hydraulic rams Much more access possible than ordinary( precarious) drive on ramps Above all feel reassuringly strong, stable secure and safe. Andrew

Delighted to see return of the forum.Rather thoughtwe would not see the like again. At an embryonic stage stil, but i'm sure it will quickly develop again. well done. Andrew