Colin Lindsay

I'm idly waiting for the right Herald convertible to appear but in the past month I've debated over two Herald saloons, two camper vans, a Saab convertible and a Vitesse convertible, in fact it's gone as far as visualising them in the garage, or me in them, then happily I've decided: 'No'. I have a habit of feeling sorry for cars, especially Heralds, and you do want to rescue them to a good home - I turned down the Vitesse before but it's sprung up again. I know if I go to see it I'll end up with it. I just need to stop idly surfing the Net for cars I don't need to know exist. The right car will come along.

When you get the new one, and you're happy that it's all running as it should, then dismantle the old one and see what's inside. You'll know then if it can be cleaned or serviced, and if it's worth attempting at all.

I'm currently waiting on exhaust straps, so that I can fit my shiny silencer to the herald main pipe, but even from trial fitting I can see that they're not going to be in line with the brackets on the chassis outrigger. It's a sign of the times that none of my local autoparts suppliers have any straps in stock. They used to be everywhere! I just bought a 12 inch length of fabric-reinforced rubber and will make my own when it arrives.

I've just gone down the photos, one by one, so forgive me for any unkind impressions I may list but it looks like it's had a respray - good colour at present but evidence of orange-peel effect in some areas and overspray especially on seals and rubber buffers etc - look at the close-up photo of the wing top behind the driver's b-post. The driver's door does not fit well; it looks like it's had a replacement front wing, certainly the sill, and the rear sill behind the driver's door looks very suspect. I just don't trust the fit of either door or wing and the bootlid is warning me off, not to mention that gap at the lower edge of the rear O/S wing at the end of the sill. I'd be worried that something has hit it quite hard on the driver's side, requiring a replacement door - possibly not new, going by the pinhole - a front wing and a new sill. Trim is tired, as are many of the rubber seals but underside front looks quite sound. That shot of the electrics is worrying. You could buy it as a project and be prepared to spend money but I'd like to make sure the structure is sound, particularly the floor under the driver's door.

Remember the bit in Jaws where they're all comparing scars and the wee guy starts shouting: I got that beat! I got that beat? Not only was I polishing exhaust silencers earlier in the week - save me a room in whatever Nuthouse you end up in, Matthew - but I was also polishing brass thermostats... just in case I take the Herald to a show and someone looks inside the housing...

There's a tendency local to me, to advertise old vans as 'ideal camper conversions' and bump up the price accordingly. They're just basic end of life builders or labourers vans, but add that magical 'camper conversion' phrase and they're suddenly worth much more.

If you look at the way it's made, the keyway starts off on this fitting flange but then continues on to the front of the pulley; the actual metal is very solid as can be seen from the depth of the screw holes. The broken piece is only the rear 'lip' which I assume acts as a spacer. It's cracked but solid - I couldn't move it with either a screwdriver or pliers and must have taken enormous force to break in the first place. There are two of these pumps, one Stanpart and one Qualcast but they can't be mixed due to slight differences. I'm going to chance this one, in that when the front washer and nut are fitted it won't be going anywhere and the 50% of the keyway that remains whole is sufficient for purpose. I can't honestly see it shearing completely off under normal running conditions.

Ups and downs..... a few of each. I've given up on the bodywork - my welder has mysteriously vanished... "I'll be in touch after Easter"... he didn't say how much after Easter. Might have scared him off... Anyway the mechanical end of things is sailing along. Propshaft is now fitted, all new UJs, and I've added the bracing bar between the gearbox and chassis that the early cars had. I had hoped to fit a tubular manifold and twin carbs, but the manifold is fouling the bellhousing and is going to require some serious metalwork - it needs heated and bent, so in order to make some progress I've just gone back to the original cast iron manifold and single Solex. Don't worry about the position of some of the nuts; they're not tightened yet. This was not without its' own problems; I replaced the exhaust studs with a full kit of studs, washers and brass nuts, and it lasted thirty seconds before the nuts stripped their threads. Even the studs were so soft, they distorted when the stud puller was screwing them into the manifold. I ended up getting round that by buying steel studs from Spalding Fasteners, who also supplied double-sized brass nuts with extra grip on the studs. Well, they did the second time; the first ones were incorrectly-labelled UNC. Well, it was worth a try once the new UNF nuts arrived... the last quarter-turn of the spanner wrung the stud in the manifold, so I ended up with two Spalding versions, one original stud, and three good short brass nuts as the longer ones wouldn't fit the shorter original stud. Still, manifold and exhaust fitted. Next step was the waterpump housing; three bolts all of different lengths. Top left bolt is the long one but why the different lengths of the other two, especially when the hole in the head is the same length for both? The longer one wouldn't tighten, so of came 1/4 inch with the aid of the Dremel. Perfect fit! I have a lovely stainless water pipe for the rear of the housing - but not only does it not fit, it's the wrong profile and won't reach the head stud at the rear of the block. I can't be bothered bending it, so fitted an original steel version from a 1200; slightly tatty, but still sound. Next was fitting the water pump - all okay there - for the time being. It's an early pump with the grease nipple and removable pulley. Then came the alternator... where does the bracket go to? Top left bolt.... why is it too short? Because some idiot has shortened it... new bolt required. Don't so that again. Nice stainless steel alternator bracket dug out of many years storage. Bling! Of course things were going too well and it came time to fit the water pump pulley, which is not Stanpart but Qualcast. They made a lot of Triumph parts back in the day including brake drums. A quick sandblast revealed a problem - the keyway inside the pulley has fractured to about 50% of the way along. No idea how that happened, but it's not all the way through. My other Stanpart pulley won't fit as the woodruff key on this pump is larger - maybe this is the cause of the damage? In any case I trial fitted the damaged version and it grips very well, so I might tempt fate and use it whilst keeping the spare just in case. It won't affect the function and certainly won't cause leaks, and I've never heard of one falling off completely.... yet. So there we are; progress so far. Water pump, exhaust, thermostat and various other little bits leaving it looking once again like a real engine. Maybe I'll just bolt seats to the bare chassis and drive it like that. Who needs bodywork anyway?

Probably rotten underneath if the bubbles are anything to go by. Seller spends a lot of time on the interior and fittings and then adds a sneaky little composite photo of the rust, right at the end.

It went to a good home in Wales.... seemingly a dealer who added a grand to the price and put it back on for sale almost immediately...

Plus - if removing the steering wheel do NOT completely undo the nut; take it right to the end of the threads and then loosen the wheel on the splines. This way, if it requires force to move it, it won't fly off, especially if you're sitting in the driver's seat pulling it and get it right between the eyes when it flies off....

That bootlid fit is very odd; no room to adjust it back at the top but sits out very far at the bottom. Maybe just the wrong rubber seal used?

I don't use the grease nipple at all, did five cars last weekend in my garage and every one was filled with an oil can and plastic pipe. On some you could see grease coming up under the rubber seal, so there was sufficient pressure to force old grease out - whoever put that in - and refill with fresh oil.

They're not seating far enough due to the rubber seal; I'd bin it and see how that improves the fit.

https://www.gumtree.com/p/campervans-motorhomes/citroen-berlingo-pop-top-camper-campervan/1403345219 I like this style; small van so you can sneak it under barriers in car parks... Citroen Berlingo based.

No rant but a good point - however - it galls me when the host country refuses to pay its' workers a decent wage, or gives them proper working conditions, and then the UK ends up paying for it in the form of Overseas Aid. As you say: if the host country can't comply then tax them into compliance, otherwise we have billionaires by the dozen raking in cash form the efforts of workers which other countries pay for.

As much as I hate to nitpick but Fuzz says: "After he had gone, I took it out on the road" and the shot changes to car on road.... but that's NOT Fuzz. In fact that looks positively female and has a pony tail... anything you want to tell us, Fuzz?

For that price I'd expect the steering wheel to be on the 'proper' side... There was a really sad story a few years back of a man who had retired and spent his retirement money on a huge campervan in order to tour about; he had it all finished to his specification including RHD. When he took delivery of it he found that it was too wide for UK Regulations and could not legally be driven on UK roads. The supplier refused to take it back and he couldn't sell it to Europe, where it may have been road-legal, as it was RHD and so would have limited the number of potential buyers. I felt really sorry for him but always wondered what happened to it.

We've just had the largest fires ever on the Mourne Mountains - started deliberately as usual - absolutely spectacular, but the pollution must have been horrendous. Think of all the petrol chainsaws that didn't need to be used, though. I worry that the UK in this relentless pursuit of being a world leader in saving the planet will destroy our economy with regulations and restrictions while India, Brazil, Russia and China sit back, do nothing and reap the benefits. There's not a chance that they'll be shamed into doing likewise, or encouraged to follow suit except with large bribes. Paid for by the UK of course.

You're more likely to find something that someone else has messed with and that will annoy you for years... My brother-in-law bought a Fiat-based camper three months ago; it's still not on the road. Wheelarches, sills, floors, all rotten, replaced the gearbox and when he was due to go off in it last weekend he found both brake calipers had seized up and in freeing them a brake pipe sheared. He reckons he's put too much into it to sell it now... I was offered one earlier in the week based on - wait for it - a 1953 Bedford. I knew there had to be a catch... "Needs an engine but I know where there is one...." No. Definitely not.

Ok so no petrol... no chainsaws, no lawnmowers, no hedgetrimmers, only those terrible battery-powered jobs that gently scratch through tree branches or a flex that's half a mile long. Not much use to the Forestry Industry or anyone working miles from civilisation. Wonder how they'll get round having to use portable electric generators for when the mains power goes off?

First thing to do is to drive it. That's the only way you'll see how it performs. It's entirely possible the 1147cc block has been replaced with a reconditioned unit originally from a Herald, but with the Spitfire mechanicals. You won't really know until you feel how it drives, and then you'll know if it needs more power.

I don't think many of us have the right to laugh; sympathise certainly, but not laugh. We've all done more or less the same in our time.... I know the Toledo camshaft was detuned to meet planned emission controls, so a good start would be the equivalent Spitfire version. Spitfire Mk3, or is that too early for that block?

I found some online, the seller states he'll supply UK but NOT Ireland, so I just need to find out if he knows his geography / politics before I order some...

https://www.jamespaddock.co.uk/penrite-differential-oil-1-litre-2 Sadly Paddocks can't post this to me (probably under EU rules) but I'd have tried it in the GT6.